Archives -
Obsessions collidePosted March 17th
Truth in advertising spotted at The Winehouse, West Los Angeles.
Rock Band band namesPosted February 20th
I’ve been refining this post more or less since November when I got the game, adding names, dropping them, trying intently to massage the funny. It’s making my copywriting bone tingle. Should you have beef with my taxonomy, please remember: genres are notoriously imprecise and these names are, after all, totally made up.
Prog Rock
The Wizard of Zo
The Jettisons
Heavy Water
The Collapse (real band)
Exeunt
Cubic Musiconia (taken: a super-band of sorts, assembled from my solo tour characters)
70s Punk
The Gendarmes
Felt Bikini
The Gimps
The Plants
The Drags (also a real band; damn you, German)
The Speci-Men
Gutter Punk
Messy Handjob
Feces Police
Toothless Old Man
Piss Whistle
Pussy Inspection
Fetus Party
Z is for Bitch
80s Thought Pop
Politics as Usual
Ready Not Ready
Binding Arbitration
Mur is Furder
Jazz
The Trio Quartet
Nu-Metal
Coat of Arms
Ventricle
Lagbolt
Numismatogram
Velociraptor
Sleepdriver
Inchwyrm
Math Rock
The Idiot’s Guide to Starting a Band
Atomic Waits
Grinding in China
The Frags
The Ridley Scotts
Neve Campbell tribute bands
The Craft
Goth
Crying Jäg
Etheria Mare Lactalis
Deck of ‘Tards
Oxycontin Twins
Emo
Chartreuse
Rainy Day Supper Club
Old Navy Turtleneck
The Four-Eyes
Indie
Pretty Weathergirl
Every Seventh Sunday
Away Message
Restless Leg Syndrome (taken: our headlining act, featuring Jeff, Daisy and myself)
Arena Rock
Outer Heaven
Katana
Slyder
Big League Chew
Scent of a Roadie
Gila Monster
Iroc
Mouthful
Freshener
My 2.083 secondsPosted October 24th
Huzzah! I’ve been published on Kotaku, that irrepressible chronicle of Sony bashing, moe, and Tingle fetishists, though not in the way you might expect. Turns out the brush was mightier than the pen.
I’ve been ill, of course, still combating all sorts of demonic physical manifestations, exhaustion, anxiety, and fear. All the while I’ve been taking stabs at a few imperious, essay-length blog posts, but this had proven very difficult so I dug through some of my old material—like really old—to see what might be worth recycling. I re-discovered my 2nd grade class journal and the imagery within. The rest is Kotaku history. Or was. Internet stardom is fleeting; my post was top-of-page for all of half an hour. Confound you, accelerated blogotime. I’ve seen transuranic heavy metals with longer half-lives than your average post. Oh snap, indeed.
Anyway, check out Ben’s Donkey Kong-Riddled Diary. Thanks to Eliza Gauger for publishing.
I’ll be cribbing a bit more from the journal before I’m done. Non-sequiturs from the mind of a 7-year old kid are absolute gold. Mrs. Abramowitz told me so.
Anthropological u-turn mirrorPosted August 3rd
I don’t know what that means. No I have not been frequenting poetry slams. It refers to the clips below of a Japanese TV newsmagazine documenting a group of American otaku trolling Tokyo for their piece of the super-deformed, scantily clad nihonjin dream. Something about us looking at them looking at us. I’ll break the Noisy Balloonist Prime Directive (no self-reflexive internets) for this. Torpedos can, under exceptional circumstances, be damned. This from Offering Booze to a Deity in Kowloon by way of BoingBoing, a long time ago.
[Editor's note: For some reason—we've confirmed it's not a hex—Flash video plus this Wordpress theme breaks Firefox. Thus, the links to video, rather than actual video, that appear below. We'll find a remedy; I'm sure of it.]
And then there’s the game where you must stop the 50-foot tall bikini model from trampling breastfully across Okinawa. Try sweet cake. And you thought Japan was nothing but horseflesh ice cream and panty vending.
PlayStation Underground E3 2006Posted June 5th
Take a look at the videos Ignited Minds Motion+Sound produced for Sony at E3 a few weeks ago, the product of months of exhaustive prep and a ton of work by all involved during show week. We had this gig at E3 2005 and I was disinclined to trumpet the results. This year’s output is something to be proud of.
Click on the feature segment to spawn a pop-up video player. Select SHOW COVERAGE or G.A.P. VIDEO COVERAGE from the tabs up top, then browse segments in the categories on the left. A few recommends:
SHOW COVERAGE
Access Granted: Okami
Access Granted: Guitar Hero II
PlayStation 3 01: Next-Gen Starts Now
Access Granted: Destroy All Humans! 2
G.A.P. VIDEO COVERAGE
Monsters of G.A.P.
Pilgrimage 01: Auditions
G.A.P. Beat 02: PSP System Sports
And introducing the very first (and possibly the last) E3 short film, G.A.P. Guerrilla
PlayStation Underground Hosts
Diane Mizota & Steve Truitt Production
Dolly Tarazon; Richie Kulchar; Justin Towery; Teresa Medoza; Alisia Vega; Scott Reedy; Jennifer Gonzalez; Hernan Trujillo; Peta MartinCamera
David Grabias; Howard Shack; Melissa Miller; Sean McGinn; Vanessa Holtgrewe; Rick BrushEdit
Jeff Berger; Cory Pampalone; Bob Green; Daniel Berhman, Tyemi Lee
Audio
Kyle and Justin for Subtractive; Brian Kessler
Music
Grassy Knoll; Subtractive; Brian Kessler
Tech Support
Greg Geilman
Crew 2 Content Director
Brent Gordon
Art Direction and Graphics
Wilfred Wong
Executive Producer
Diego España
Show Creative Director, Lord of the Edit and Yogi
Brian Kessler
All segments developed, written and most directed/co-directed by Show Content Director
Ben Calderwood
Someone will be distributing our lunch money shortly.